B'nai Mitzvah Planning Guide

2-3 YEARS PRIOR:

• Brainstorm with your family.  What type of celebration reflects your family’s
  hopes and dreams for the day?

• Choose a date for your Bar/Bat Mitzvah.

• Choose a format – that is, a Saturday morning celebration, a Havdalah
  celebration at the end of the Sabbath, etc.

• Decide on a budget suitable for your family.

• If you are planning on a Personal/Independent celebration, begin thinking
  about the venue, caterer, DJ, videographer, theme for the entire event, etc.

18 MONTHS BEFORE:

• Find a tutor and/or Rabbi who will oversee the entire learning process and officiate on the day of the Celebration. Be sure to determine some of the following:

  • Are you and the Rabbi on the same page regarding the tone of the service? Joyous? Long? Short? Spiritual? Etc.

  • How will prayer books be handled? Will you use a traditional prayer book or work with the Rabbi to create a personalized prayer book for your family’s unique service?

  • Be sure to discuss any rules the clergy may have around the ceremony. Is
    the educational process and service centered around your family’s individual needs and desires? Is the Rabbi a good fit for what YOU desire?

  • How will music be handled in the service? Is the Rabbi willing to work with other professionals such as a soloist or keyboardist? 

  • Be sure to discuss costs – costs for instruction as well as officiating at the service and any other ceremonial costs such as printing, etc.

12 MONTHS BEFORE:

• Decide when to begin tutoring. For some students, 6 to 9 months is sufficient; however, all students learn at a different pace, therefore beginning 9 to
  12 months may prove to be less stressful.

• Discuss with your child the meaning of his/her Torah portion.

• Discuss with your child a Mitzvah project that will be meaningful to him/her.

9 MONTHS BEFORE:

• Begin tutoring (now or when agreed upon in consultation with the Rabbi and Instructor)

• Finalize your guest list.

6 MONTHS BEFORE:

• Plan any side-bar celebration and meals for family and guests (Kabbalat
  Shabbat – Friday evening dinner, Shabbat Brunch, etc.)

• Order any personalized items you may want such as Kippahs.

• Purchase tallit for the Bar/Bat Mitzvah

• Order any party decorations, party favors, etc.

3 MONTHS BEFORE:

• Plan and finalize the menu.

• Consider what family members may need to purchase clothing.

2 MONTHS BEFORE:

• Mail out Invitations.

• Work with the Rabbi and/or instructor to understand key lessons derived from your specific Torah portion and begin to draft your Drash (speech).

• Develop an event timeline to help focus on what is important and delegate
  those tasks that can easily be delegated.

• Work with the Rabbi and/or instructor to identify and assign various honors in
  your ceremony (who will be called for Aliyot, etc.)

2 WEEKS TO 1 MONTH BEFORE:

• Confirm the timeline, guest numbers, and any other special instructions you may need to communicate to vendors, etc.

• Communicate with your photographer and share a list of whom should be photographed before, during, and after your celebration.

• As RSVPs are returned, create a seating plan if you will be using one.

• Confirm a date and time for a final “dress rehearsal.” 

• Finalize any speeches you may give during the ceremony and share it with the Rabbi.

1 WEEK BEFORE:

• Determine final guest count and communicate to the caterer if needed.

• Purchase ceremonial items that might be perishable in nature (Challah).

• Review your checklist and make sure you have everything packed up and ready
  to go.

• With all of the wonderful and detailed planning, relax and get prepared for a memorable and meaningful celebration that you and the family will remember
  for a lifetime!